Busy, Busy (and full of excuses)

My initial 2012 New Year's Resolution was to attempt to write every day. With everything going on in my tiny little world, that has proven a bit more difficult than I had hoped.

(Before I get going, I understand that many people are busy with kids and families and shit. Whatever. I'm single and the things that stress me out are different from the things that stress you out. But that's okay!! Just because your problems are kid-related does not make them the only problems people are allowed to complain about!  Whew, it felt good to get that out.).

First, there's the wedding planning. Then work. Then having a seriously long distance relationship. And then all the little normal events that move in to suck up any potential free time. Really, I'm just making excuses but still.

But the truth is I have felt extremely stressed this year. Kim in Singapore has proven to be the most taxing item on the list. First, we MUST talk on the phone. I usually am not a big fan in general, but with the big time change, shitty cell phone networks, and stupid business hours, the problems are exacerbated. I really hate that we've had the phone as our main means of communication (what is this: 2005?). Thankfully, she's moving back soon.

And then there's wedding planning. I guess I knew that weddings were a lot of work, but you never fully KNOW until you're directly involved in it. So many decisions need to be made, reserved, purchased, rented, tailored, etc. And one big issue is I need to Kim help me with 98% of things I work on - partially because I'm an idiot and partially because I, being a guy, had no real vision for what I wanted for my wedding. But she does. And I don't want to fuck any of that up, so I mostly acquiesce to her and hope that everything I touch doesn't crumble to the ground. This, by the way, is a very shitty strategy from a fiancé point-of-view which in turn adds stress to Kim's life. 

Finally, work. It's been busy to say the least. I think I've been working more to kind of keep myself busy so as to not stress about Kim being so far away or the wedding planning going awry. Which also means I've been working a ton. Additionally, we have so much shit to do that I don't feel I ever get anything done. I really am just an individual contributor (i.e. not a founder or someone of significant title so my financial stake is very tiny) at work, but I do feel a sense of duty to work my butt off and put in the extra time. I have no idea why. I guess I could cut back, but then I feel I'm not doing my part. Where did this stupid work ethic come from?

With attempting to stay fit (abject failure) and other minor commitments (birthdays, family trips, etc), I basically have little to no free time. Which means that when I get free time I want to a) scream really loud and b) turn my brain off and do something which requires zero critical thinking including watching TV and drinking. 

Excuses, excuses. 

I need to quit making excuses and finish the things I want to finish. The good news is Kim will be back soon (and my iPhone can go back to being used as mostly a toilet-time device) and the wedding work will wrap up by September (by definition). Two stressful things off the list. And I recently signed up for a CrossFit class to force me into shape. After that, I just need to figure out how to be a great husband...shit...